Mindless scrolling on Facebook or TikTok you will surely come across videos of moms who have sworn off toddler screen time, then another raving all about. It is a huge debate among parents. It is uncharted territory; we can’t just ask out parents what we should do. All we can do is what WE THINK is right and hope for the best. There is plenty of articles on how terrible is and just as many more on why it can be beneficial. I can’t tell you what to do with your family and your little, nor do I want to, but in case you are not sure or just want another’s perspective then I give you mine. Take it for what it is worth.
I am pro toddler screen time.
Here is my thought. Screens are not going anywhere. They have become a detrimental part of our lives and are involved in nearly everything we do. Keeping screens from my child will only be a disservice to her. I feel like keeping them from her will make them become a “forbidden fruit”. Starting with them early, making them just part of normal life and teaching her how to use them responsibly was more important than keeping them from her. We have no limits on screen time, instead we focus on appropriate uses for them and teaching her moderation.
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How we do toddler screen time in our home.
We handle things differently between TV and Tablets so I will break them up in to two parts.
Television
I am the kind of person that leaves the TV on for “background noise” and at bedtime. It is not uncommon for it to be on just to be on. Other days I don’t turn it on in the day at all. I don’t really give it much thought to be honest. So, when the little came around I just did the same. Some days I play something she likes, so days its “my turn” some days we take turns, some days we don’t watch anything all day. At least until bedtime. I have always fallen asleep to the TV so maybe she picked it up from those 9 months in the womb but once she transitioned to a toddler bed a movie before bed was the only night routine that works for us. Though, I will admit I am trying to encourage alternative but honestly, we all just want some sleep. I set a timer for her and that is all.
Tablet
This one seems so much more controversial that the TV, probably because the TV has been around so much longer than tablets, so TV is more “normal”. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to handle tablets at first. I ultimately decided as a mentioned above. It didn’t seem like keep them from her would make sense in the long run. Then I decided to go a step further and try to make it as less of a “big deal” as I could. I wanted it to feel normal and no better than her other toys or activities.
Here is what I did.
1 Years Old
At about one years old, I downloaded a couple preschool apps on my older iPad mini. (Side note here: it was important to me she had her own device, so I could make clear boundaries between her devices and mine). We only used it for maybe 15-20 minutes at a time and we only played it together, not every day but whenever.
2 Years Old
A little after 2 years old I gave her more autonomy with it. I give it to her on lazy days or whenever. somedays she has it all day and somedays not at all. In fact, we will go days without it sometimes. She also understands when I say times up, time is up. What is interesting is that I have found the plan has worked so far. On the days she has it all day so plays for a little bit, maybe watches something on Disney but then without my telling her she will put it down to color, dance around, ask for bubbles, eat me out of house and home, ya know toddler stuff. She takes breaks on her own. Which I love to see. Usually one of these breaks I will just grab it and put it up to charge. Out of sight out of mind. If she is actively using it when I need her to put it away I give her a time, like 5 minutes or let her finish her game (they are short). she hands it right over.
It works really well for us. What is important is to set boundaries not limits. Of course, I can’t say this works for all kids but hopefully if you are thinking of implementing tablets this could be handy for you to think about.
The Take Away
As of now, (at almost 3) we have not seen any adverse behaviors on days she has the tablet verse days she does not. Should we see that we may change up our approach.
What we have seen is her learning skills and things we hadn’t even thought to show her yet. Her color matching and letter recognition is advanced, she solves puzzles, has a great understanding of relative size and even is getting the basics of numbers down. She started doing these things in her preschool games, it was great to see what she was working on and interested in so that when we play together, we could incorporate those same skills in “real life.”
However, you decided to approach screens is totally up to you, just don’t feel guilty if you choose to incorporate them! If you have questions about my approach, feel free to ask in the comments!
